


Why do Ereri fics always show up on the Eruri tag?

by 1evis1ittleasshole



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, This is an Eruri fic tbh, Thug Life, but I feel the need to misrepresent eren and put him in anyway, eren is the evil ex ;)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 12:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6006055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1evis1ittleasshole/pseuds/1evis1ittleasshole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi just wants some good old man lovin' but his evening is ruined when he realizes that he's got some very big obstacles in his way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> :)

Levi is a very busy man. He's the captain after all and his duties are limitless. Lately, however, he's been feeling stressed. His current boyfriend has been a nightmare to deal with.

Eren Jäger 

Aka jäger bomb

Aka jail bait 

Aka lesser eyebrow game

How did he start dating Eren? Well the omnipresent godlike beings known as "the fandom" has made it so. They convinced the supreme God Isayama to do their bidding. Wala! Eren and Levi are canon as fuck.

But that doesn't mean it works. In fact it has been pretty hard for Levi and Eren since then. Eren practically worships him but Eren's immaturity knows no bounds.

The sex is painfully awkward. Levi tried to bottom to be less intimidating but Eren kept missing the hole(if ya know what I mean *wink* *wink* ) when Levi tried to top Eren was so petrified that he felt too guilty to go through with it. Fucking a 15-year-old is hard (no pun intended) 

But Levi had no choice, Erwin faithfully followed the supreme ruler and ordered him to go through with it. Damn Erwin and his undying loyalty. 

Levi wanted a break. He realized the best way was to read the holy scriptures of the fandom gods to perhaps show him another way. Levi wasn't a praying man, he wasn't religious but he was desperate to end this. 

He got on the holy book known as "laptop" and typed in the most sacred of texts. The Ao3. No one knows what it stands for but it has been around since the beginning of time.

He looked past the 102,444,5555 million Ereri texts and searched Eruri instead. He blushed. Yes Levi is capable of blushing. It was strange to think of his commander that way but if he had to choose a lover to be stuck with it would be Erwin. Isayama-Kamisama knows this so why would he damn Levi this way?

He entered the search but what came up was...what?

Eren/Levi 

Ok next one then

Eren/Levi 

Huh? 

Eren/Levi 

Eren/Levi 

Eren/Levi 

And oh! Eruri finally!

"Past Eruri"

.

Levi stared at the screen in disbelief. We're the gods mad? Were they blind? Illiterate? This was the Eruri scriptures. 

Levi huffed in frustration as he read through them. Erwin was so....ooc. 

Evil, abusive, neglectful. Erwin was so unlikable. Why did the gods hate Erwin so much? Erwin was no perfect man but he showed Levi that he could live again. Levi couldn't express how much it meant to be under Erwin it meant the world to him. 

Isayama even put a permanent line between them to show their bond like no arrows just a fucking permanent line of trust and love. Did the fandom gods oppose this true thing? 

Levi was legit insulted that the fandom hated someone so special to him.

This some conspiracy shit. 

They wanted Levi to choose the brat over Erwin. Levi wants some old man lovin' he finally admits it to himself. 

He finally finds an actual Eruri fic on page 135, it's a story where Levi is French (wut?) and he falls for Erwin, a German solider(sign me the fuck up) the "AU" seems random to Levi but as he reads it he realizes that it's really fucking sad. Levi is almost on the verge of tears. It was so sad even Levi wanted to cry.

Levi read more and more and he was so depressed by the end that he contemplated not reading it ever again. Seriously even the doujinshi scriptures were soul crushing. Goddess Hitomi was his favorite way to break his own heart. 

Levi then read the more risqué scriptures. He was always on the bottom. Why? Also, why did it turn him on so much? He readjusted himself in his pants. 

Some were very kinky. "Spank me daddy" was what Levi yelled in one story. There was a lot of that. Did the gods think Levi had daddy issues? Levi suddenly felt self conscious. 

He was in the middle of reading a doujinshi scene where he was being barebacked by Erwin while wearing a skimpy maid outfit when he heard a door open. 

He tried to hide the scripture turning to glare at the person behind him. Oh my, it was Erwin.

Erwin gave him a shocked expression but quickly hid it behind a stoic front. 

"Levi. You should be getting ready for the engagement scene. What are you doing here?"

Oh and Levi was ordered to marry Eren by the wayThat was the worst part of all this. 

"I don't need a damn engagement scene. Why can't the brat just give me a ring a get it over with?"

"What were you reading Levi?" Erwin suddenly changed the subject, way too curious to not speak on it.

Levi kept his expression calm. 

"Just research."

"Levi....I saw me making love to you and you wearing a maid outfit. What are you researching? "

"Erwin" Levi said suddenly serious. "There's gods that believe we can be together with whips and chains and adopted children. It's amazing"

Levi walked up to Erwin and stared up at him longingly. 

"We can ditch this Ereri nightmare and be together."

Erwin looked conflicted staring deep into Levi's gunmetal(or blue who the fuck knows) eyes. He did want to live out his old man size kink life with Levi. 

The smol to his tol,the bottom to his top

But was this right? 

"Levi I can't"

"Pls Erwin. We could be what we always wanted to be."

"Levi no "

Levi touched his manly chest looking into incredibly blue eyes. 

"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue."

"Call me daddy."

TBC


	2. Homewrecker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I wrote this fic while severely hungover and I honestly thought I would get a lot of shit for it but the support has been amazing ;_; thank you guys so much! Much love to you all you really made my Valentine's Day! <3

Erwin didn't know what he was thinking. Cheating?! With Levi?! He was the one who encouraged Levi to date Eren in the first place even if he thought it was a strange request. Now look at him, "call me daddy"? He felt like a sleazy Craigslist ad created by a balding 40-year-old with erectile disfunction.

But Levi. Oh Levi. That beautiful Raven hair, his porcelain skin, striking eyes cute plump lips and that expression that says "I'll break your legs if you ever leave me." Erwin had to learn how to breath again he was so turned on. 

But he was a home wrecker. A dirty filthy slut of a man. What if Eren finds out? The boy has enough teen angst already did he really need more? The proposal was coming up as well what shit timing. Erwin could only hope the boy wasn't looking forward to it too much. 

0______0

Eren was super excited! He was only 15 and something like marriage was foreign to him but he really wanted to be closer to Levi. Very close. Like he wanted to be Levi. One time he even used Levi's shirt as a pillow case. It smelled like pine sol and anger. God it was amazing.

Armin was currently with him picking out the perfect tux because Eren was too manly to care about fashion. Mikasa wasn't there because, well, she's still plotting Levi's murder sooo...*clears throat*

Armin walks up to Eren with a pastel green tux in his hands. "I think you'll look good in this Eren. Then again, you look good in everything." Armin said quietly blushing like the precious cinnamon role that he is. 

"Fuck yes the survey corps colors! Thanks man" Eren suddenly pulls Armin into a hug. Armin blushed deeper pushing his friend away in embarrassment. 

"You should try it on"

"Right!" Eren exclaims excitedly

Eren quickly undresses, Armin looks away in order to keep his innocent charade in tact. 

"How do I look?" Eren donned the green tux proudly smiling ear to ear. The suit outlined his slender body perfectly his tanned skin glowing.

"You look very fuckable"

"What was that?"

"I said you look like a proper husband." Armin gave him a sweet smile while hiding his boner. 

Eren blushed painfully oblivious to the fact that half the AOT cast wants to jump his bones.

"Here, let me fix your bow tie." Armin walked up to Eren smoothing down his tie and lapels. 

Armin looked into his friend's bright emerald with a dash of azure and a hint of deep hazel eyes and sighed.

"Do you really have to do this I mean do you even like the captain like that?"

"I like him a lot! He's strong and smart and he's so cool and he's really bad ass and-"

"But do you love him?"

"We slept together so, yeah?" 

Armin wanted to pull out his coconut cut. Eren was so hard to deal with yet so goddamn hot at the same time. Fuck his life.

"Well here's the ring..." Armin said suddenly sad.

"Thanks! Wish me luck" Eren winked at Armin charmingly, Armin felt like crying. He spent all of his puberty hoping to hit that yet the gods remained cruel. Did actual closeness not matter? Armin cried on his bed dramatically when Eren left

;_______;

Erwin sat at his desk currently trying to calm down from his previous freak out while simultaneously attempting to ignore Levi who was doing his daily cleaning.

Doing his daily cleaning in a button down shirt, thigh highs,and a thong.

"Levi this isn't necessary--"

"Shut up old man your office is filthy."

"But why do you have to wear that? It's very-" Erwin swallowed "-impractical"

"Please like you don't like it" Levi took off his mask sauntering over to Erwin like a feline in heat. 

"The gods often depict me cross dressing as one of your turn ons in the doujinshi scripture." Levi sat on his lap "They also often depict you having a huge cock." Levi grabbed at Erwin's crotch. 

"Hmm, the gods were right about both."

Erwin could hardly catch his breath before Levi was on him. Kissing him deeply, biting,sucking, he couldn't help but kiss him back.

Levi was feisty, shameless as if cheating on Eren didn't bother him at all. Was this his underground side kicking in or was Levi always a bit trashy? Erwin liked this trashiness admittedly.

Regardless Erwin tried to pull away before he went too far but Levi latched onto his lame ass bolo tie and pulled him close again. He mustered up the strength to push Levi away as he tried to catch his breath.

"Levi stop what if the supreme God...erases us for defying him?"

"Please I'm the most popular character in this universe the fan girl goddesses would reign hell on all creation if that happened."

"Ok but I would certainly be erased. It's like so much harder to find merchandise with my face on it. I'm pretty sure Isayama-kamisama is only going to use me for like 2 more chapters then kill me."

"Good point. Just stick with me and you'll be safe."

"Levi, let's just take this slow. We should go on a date maybe. I heard Disneyland was an Eruri thing! We could do that whatever that is." 

"I don't want to 'Disneyland' I wanna bounce on your fat cock until I forget my own cousin wants to murder me for marrying a brat half my age."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door startling them both. 

"Hello? C-commander sir? I wanted to ask if you've seen Levi?" He said through the door.

"Mikasa said she saw him come here..." He continued.

Fucking Mikasa.

Levi clicked his tongue suddenly getting off of Erwin and marching to the door before Erwin could stop him. 

Yanking the door open he glared at Eren.

"Whaddya want brat?" He growled cocking one hip to the side impatiently.

Eren felt his jaw drop to the floor at the site of Levi. He wanted to talk but his teenage hormones clouded his mind playing the Thong Song on repeat until his brain turned to mush.

"You gonna come in or are you gonna to stand there lookin like a bootleg double mint twin all day?"

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was listening to Beyoncé's Upgrade You while writing this and realized how painfully Eruri the song is like
> 
> A song about a Captain dedicating her life to her commanders empire and like let's be for real Levi totes upgraded Erwin and Erwin always keeps his Captain happy with his favorite things ;) and now bey and jay are married so I'm just saying


End file.
